Sunday, 3 January 2016

Trying and finding ourselves


How to begin the first blog you're so kind for reading? It's typical to be beginning of a new year. It's not going to be another 'New year, new me' kinda post. This one is just to trying and why we shouldn't stop. 

I've been thinking about my own life a lot lately, could be because I'm getting older, could be because I've got more responsibilities? Who knows. All I know is I always try and no matter what I don't give up. I've been told I'm clever and brave numerous times but never feel it. It could be my confidence that is taking over me. This is one thing I find can knock me down steps, I mean how can I be confident? I'm shorter than 5ft, not that intelligent, should wear hearing aids but never always put them in. 

That is only the beginning of the list but I still don't let it stop me from getting out of bed in the morning and going to work, socialising with family and friends and being myself as best as I can. I've come to a decision that for every time I do doubt myself and think should I stop trying, I should change my pattern of thought and move onto what I have achieved in life and what I can achieve and reach for my goals.

I find that although I may have just passed all my GCSE's not feeling smart, I spent most of my time going to hospital at the age of 15 going to open heart surgery to repair a descending aorta. I still think to myself GCSE's they're not easy for a lot of teens but having to be in hospital for a week and having a few weeks staying at home from school I still attended every exam on time, handed in all my portfolios and passed them all. On top of this I too also won I.T pupil of the year award and was up for ART pupil of the year too but could only accept one and the teachers decided I.T. 

Being small can be a real confidence downer because of struggling to fit in my clothes, not looking how I would like to look, feeling less important. However it's never stopped me from getting myself into college, uni and completing 3 courses and getting myself a job and keeping it over a year. 

I may not be very good at maths, but I'm known to be a very clever and creative person. Maybe this is a sign of who I am? I mean I love to be artistic, editing, writing and more. I always loved writing mini stories when I was a little girl. I enjoyed art class in school and learning interactive media media in college where I gained skills in graphic and game design along with editing, production for tv and radio along with script writing. I also have learnt to plan campaigns in uni which was so much fun! Once the ideas start flowing they don't stop! 

I find that being a very technological person (I may have had bad some experiences as a child taking things apart to learn how they work). I taught myself how to use a computer from the age of 7 when I had my first computer. I was creating my own mini slide show presentations making them into mini movies. A sign I love media? possibly! I found trying to type up my stories, playing games and constantly on paint too was what my time was spent doing. To me this shows that from very young ages we can see who we are, but just need to understand it. 

I understand so far that I am very creative person, sometimes a bit too creative  (if possible) and let things get too out of hand. I find that from going through things I look back on I'm also told I'm brave too. Building my confidence up and mixing them all together will make me who I am and lead me down the path I feel I should go in. 

So I'm not sure why this was typed and posted, but yeah here is a proper first post from me rambling (Not good but should improve). 

Au revoir.